I just overhead a very funny phone conversation…
“Hello! Why are you calling my boyfriend? No! You keep flashing him. You just flashed him now sef. We are together. He doesn’t know you. I’m his fiancee. Please stop barging him…”
It reminded me of a similar incident. We were driving to church one fine Sunday morning when a very angry and bitter wife who in an attempt to call her husband’s girlfriend had called my mom. She started ranting and calling names. You can imagine our befuddlement. At first the angry lady refused to believe my mom (who is Igbo) was not Folashade, her husband’s girlfriend/snatcher. It took a lot of convincing before she finally believed and then hurriedly cut the phone call amidst tears. My mom immediately called her back and prayed with her- asking God to heal the lady’s emotions, intervene and restore her family.
Sometimes I wonder whether these men (the likes of those mentioned above) are worth fighting for. It’s annoying to say the least when the lady has to be her own knight in shining armor all the time and champion her relationships, marriage and children’s future. She has to ‘save the day’ since the man in her life has chosen to be a sissy in desperate need of rescuing from the ‘other woman’, alcohol and other forms of debauchery.
“You only need to remain calm; the Lord will fight for you.”
Exodus 14:14 (NCV)
Yours sincerely,
Cee
Blessings......
ReplyDeleteIf a woman finds herself in the position of having to call the "other woman" I'd say its over. That's my way of seeing it. The thing is all these wives blames the "other women" and give no responsibility to the men to whom the bulk of the responsibility rests on. Yes the "other woman" is wrong but she did not do it by herself, she did not randomly come into their house and say, "hey I taking this one." Wives needs to keep it real and put the blame where it squarely needs to be-on their husbands. Sometimes some of these "other women" are not even aware some of these men are married. While some are and are bold assuming their treasures are somehow more precious than the wife's when its just about the "Game." I like to call it vaginalitist, its an affliction men suffer from, where they get their false notion of manhood from-at the end of a vagina.
Wives keep it real about who your husbands are and protect your health because 9 out of 10 of them screwing bareback and delivering free of charge HIV/AIDS and other STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases). While the other woman is a problem the more immediate major problem is YOUR HEALTH!
Men who have sex outside of marriage may have a miriad of reasons why including though not exclusive to blaming their wives, regardless what there mouth say the fact remains, THEY CHEAT BECAUSE THEY CAN. It really is that simple. They can because most wives don't hold them accountable, pretend they don't see, take them back and blame only the other woman. Two there are women out there (and will always be women out there) willing to take what they get when they get it under the illusion that they can scoop the wive and be the ONE and what they did wouldn't come back and bite them in the behind because some how they are more "special".
The truth is, in any relationship, you have to understand your worth. You have to know what your boundaries are, what you will put up with and what you won't and have the committment to follow through. If you resolve to stay after the trust, your heart, sense of security has been broken and rip apart then you got to take the blinders off-see him for who he is and not who you want him to be. If he is a creeper more than likely he will continue to creep then you got to protect yourself, condomns/spermicide, condoms/spermicide, condomns/spermicide because its not as simple as having random sex anymore, its about life and death, YOUR LIFE. Stop all the dramatic crap about carrying on like a mad woman cursing the other woman, the one you need to be railing on is the one sleeping beside you. Men who cheat go in knowing everything you gonna try and tell the other woman. He knows he is married, he knows he has a wife/children/responsibilities, he knows, he knows and he does it anyway, why, because he can, because he chose to, because he wants to. I don't care what the reasoning, explaination, excuses, scenerios is/he uses when its all said and done no matter how logical or reasonable it all sounds, it still boils down to one thing-CHOICE.
Stay blessed....
Rhapsody
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Thank you soooo much for your comment:)! You hit the nail on the head - Men cheat because they can and in relationships, the individuals (especially the ladies) have to know what they can or cannot tolerate and live with their "choice". I pray more people open their eyes to this truth and save everyone the drama.
DeleteStay blessed too ;)!
Cool story, but u don't the other side of the story which is the husband.my own ques is why do married men fall in love outside marriage?
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by. I never claimed to know it all. Although, In my opinion there is NO excuse or reason that makes infidelity acceptable. Secondly i don't think what they do can be classified as 'falling in love'; its more sordid than that. And as Rhapsody said 'They do it because they can'.
DeleteI'll have to agree with Rhapsody. Why face the other woman when you should be facing your husband?
ReplyDeleteYeah me too. I guess they are too scared to face the reality of his infidelity (they'll rather prefer to believe he was the victim while 'the other woman' tempted him) and the subsequent consequences of a confrontation with their husband. e.g divorce, separation, physical abuse
DeleteToinlicious, that's the best option (facing the hubz), but most times, we find it hard to face our (generic) fears. Its easier to engage in the "blame game".
DeleteIt really is very sad when you see women calling the "girl friend" to rant, but at that point, desperation is all they know.
Some men may have married the wrong person and have found someone else, while some men may feel they are missing out on life (feeling bored in their marriage) and want to know if other women are still attracted to them and feel they are in love, but most often it is all about physical attraction and not love at all. It gives some men an adrenalin rush of sneaking around with someone else who knows little about them and the man can be anything he wants (in character) to the woman he is attracted too. Generally these types of relationships do not last long and either the man goes back to his wife or he will continue to have one relationship after the other.
ReplyDeleteThanks again for stopping by.
Deleteyour mum is very nice.
ReplyDeletethe wife had no business calling the girlfriend, she should have confronted her husband. I dont even know why we try so hard to keep relationships when the men do evrything to spoil them.
thanks for dropping by my blog. nice blog you got. now following
Thank you she is. I'm not sure i would have done the same in her stead. Yay! I'm glad you are following :)!
DeleteI know the "girfriends" are in the wrong but I've never understood why women attack the women who sleep with their husbands. Yes, the woman is wrecking your marriage but (most of the time) she has no ties to you. The person who promised to be with you for the rest of your life is your husband and he is the one who should respect you enough to do the right thing. Take the issue up with him instead! If he is not ashamed enough to stop, your problems won't stop by getting rid of that one woman. There are plenty of willing women out there waiting to replace her.
ReplyDeleteYeah thats actually the sad truth. There really are tons of willing women to take 'the other woman's' stead.
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ReplyDelete...face the man, face the other woman and the suggestions continue. has she faced herself? there is no excuse for infidelity. none whatsoever. but life teaches us to ask ourselves where we may have missed it. is it possible this guy always had this trait before marriage and she choose to ignore it? is it possible she is also 'snatched' him from another? could it be that her behavior has pushed him out of the house? Solomon said that it would be better to dwell on the corner of a roof than in the same house with a troublesome woman.
ReplyDeleteCould this woman be paranoid? accusing this man falsely? so before you judge this man or 'men' as the case has now become, ponder the questions above.
btw 'Men cheat because they can'. birds also fly because they can. did you notice? that phrase makes as much sense as can fit on a pin head.