14for14: Dining Hall Nightmares

I went to a boarding school and like most, the dining hall was a world of it's own. It was the venue where the most embarrassing incidents and tales occurred. The two 'horrible' and 'earth shattering' things that you wouldn't want to happen to you in the dining hall were:

1) For your cutlery to fall! I don't know what the big deal was but then it was just so wrong. All eyes would be on you immediately and they'll be judging you. The eyes will automatically label you a grub, glutton, FFO (for food only) e.t.c. The judging had levels too. If it was a fork it was moderate, a spoon was worse but a Big Spoon like the one below was the worst of them all.

This was the basing Spoon!! lol

even Spoon get levels ;)!

2) For you to get a dining hall BADGE! That's what you get when food spills on your uniform. The bigger the badge the more the shame literally. Breakfast badges were the most dreaded because you had to sit through your remaining classes with it. Only babies were permitted to get food stains. (That reminds me according to this theory, I was a baby last Saturday because I poured a whole cup of tea on myself at an induction event and I was still going for a wedding afterwards. Sad right?)

So what did the Dining hall teach me?

1. That if I remain in my cocoon and refuse to try out new things (meals) from other cultures, I'll be missing a whole lot. You won't believe it but I started eating fish and water melon in Dining hall. Imagine!!

2. How to eat fast! Aint nobody got time to spend an hour eating a meal.

3. The person with the serving spoon is very powerful

4. Punctuality to the dining hall is key if you want to actually eat 

5. All that glitters is not gold. Some meals look way better than they taste

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

1 Corinthians 10:31 (ESV)

Sincerely,

Cee

Top 5 Myths about Corpers (especially the female ones)

So its just been approximately four months since I started my Service year and a lot has happened. I hope to share them in bits someday. Anyways here are the myths and the reasons why they are myths:

Myth #1: Corp Members don't like their names. According to this myth, we prefer being called 'corper', 'kopa' or my personal fave "ajuwaya" which is a military term for 'as you were' (a.k.a return back to your original position; mostly used on the parade ground). However contrary to this myth, I'm yet to meet anyone who doesn't prefer the name they were given at birth to ajuwaya. I wish I could find a way to convey this message to the teachers in my staff-room; they keep yelling corper and ajuwaya in my direction *sigh*.

Myth #2: Corpers are Jobless! There are two sides to this myth.
-The first interpretation is that corpers have noting better to do at any point in time so feel free to waste their time. I get this a lot especially on general cd days and when we are made to attend seminars or lectures. Last month I got to my Lga around 8am and after waiting for two hours and the lady in question hadn't shown up I left. I went back later in the week and a lady in the office said to me "You should have waited that day because she came after you left." I asked her what time and she said around 12noon! Imagine! *angry face*

-The second side is that we are literally jobless and would do anything for a job. One day while commuting I met a man. I was wearing NYSC uniform that day so he started the convo with the usual 'corper' and 'ajuwaya' greeting. At first, I tried my best to be polite and nod at certain intervals during his monologue but it didn't last long. The major issue was that I couldn't interpret or comprehend half of what he was saying. He was speaking "English" or at least a version of it. He started hitting on me but noticed that I had zeroed out. So he goes ahead to play his trump card... he tells me that he can offer me a job in his office. For in his mind corpers are jobless so offering me a job will make me take him seriously! Joker! I can't remember what I told him but I'm sure I busted that myth for him.


Myth #3: Corpers are broke and always in need of a free ride. This myth annoys me a lot except if I am talking with my father in that case it is a FACT! Lool! But seriously I will soon pour dirty mop water on the next car and its driver which stops in front of me on the road. Ki lo de? That is how one day when I decided to do a long walk home, a guy came to chat me up and had the audacity to tell me that he can give me transport money! I just thank God for Jesus because only God knows what I would have done to the guy. The best way to bust this myth will be to go to any lga on a general cd day and see the traffic caused by corpers and their various rides or to carry out a study of the price tags of their various weaves, gadgets and toys or attend any of their beach outings/parties.

Myth #4 Corpers are enjoy being cheap labour . Do I need to explain this myth? I'm sure you've seen the job ads or broadcast messages specifically requesting for Corp members to fill in a position. Let me explain what it means... It means that the employer has a ton of work to be done but he wants to be cheap and pay less that the minimum wage. The justification is that at least he is paying more than the 'allowee' and what most schools are willing to pay. The answer to this myth is more environmental than sociological. More a case of crayfish bending because of condition. Corpers hate being cheap labour but often times settle for it when they lack alternatives. All part of the hustle.


Myth #5 Corpers are gullible and can buy anything. I cannot mention all the things and businesses people have attempted to sell to me in the past 4 months. Its incredible! If its not an MLM, its a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity or a portable gas cooker (please ask me why I need to carry my gas cooker with me everywhere o!) or an ever lasting shoe polish or some random accessory. I've mastered the 'No thank you' face. This myth has been busted several times but yet  it still exists because once in a blue moon, a corper does the unthinkable and patronizes a 'seller' hence the need to bust it again. Sad right? Oh well what can I say?

...With these few points of mine I hope I have been able to Convince you and not Confuse you that these 5 myths about Corpers are myths ;)!

I hate and abhor falsehood but I love your law. Psalm 119:163 

Keep falsehood and lies far from me. Proverbs 30:7, 8

Keep me from deceitful ways; be gracious to me through your law. Psalm 119:29

Sincerely,

Cee

14for14: Playing with fire

I love it when my parents, Grandma or Aunts decide to torture my siblings with something they did as a child. There are some classics that I'm saving for my nieces and nephews *winks*. Once the story doesn't involve any of my misdemeanors I am a good sport.

As one of the stories goes, my younger brother at a certain point in his life was fascinated with fire. He wasn't content to just watch from the sidelines. He needed to catch it! My mom being the super woman she is, would always jump over skyscrapers aka tables, rivers (aka puddles from our carelessness) or mountains - (toys strategically positioned on the floor) just to stop him. She used to work herself up trying to keep her baby away from the fire.

Until one faithful day, when she got tired and she let him get as close as his heart desired to the candle...

...as you must have guessed that was his last day near it. He wised up real quick!

Wondering what that has to do with anything? Errm.. the thing is that just like my brother I'm fascinated with  fire but a different kind. The type I know isn't good for me. Don't let your mind run far o!

Its just Sweets!

I dunno why I find it irresistible.

SO the main problem is how to deal with my case.... should I adopt  my Mother's method and leave my self  to indulge in as much sweets, chocolates and confectioneries as my hands can touch until I literally get burnt i.e jedi jedi (I first heard this word in boarding school and it simply means a severe constipation or something like that) and all the other side effects? 

Can a man carry fire in his lap without burning his clothes?

Proverbs 6:27 (GWT)

(victory dance: #team no defaulting! #may! #no slacking! #fresh air)

Sincerely,

Cee

iP.O.P

Has someone ever sent you a message that encapsulated your very thoughts at that time? Well a friend of mine just did. This is what he wrote...

To what purpose is evil?, to what gain is this hate? 

How could thoughts be so lethal?, to what end is this fate?
Has life lost it's value?, is this the end of our universe?
Has blood become worthless?,is living now in reverse? 

There's nowhere to run,  no place to hide

                         Everyone is exposed in this maze so wide                          Tugs from left and right, pressures on every  side        

Can't we all just evade this Boisterous tide?

Uncertainty looms as we walk through the door

Too many Count of losses, we can't take this no more

Look where we are, look what we've become A show of shame..a fate to which we succumb

We live in a country where no one is safe
Where one's desire, is another one's chafe
The night is filled with screams of Violence
While the morning awakes with immortal silence
Defenseless people bombed, a crime heinously conducted
Emotions run deep over hundreds of  girls abducted
Daily the evil extends, the carnage transcends
While our leaders only condemn, But no one contends
To what end is this fate?, everyone wonders
Days go bye and yet the innocent Suffers

The reality of the unknown, still lays wide open like a field 
No one knows the fate of that which is next to be revealed
Each day unfolds, with the fear of what to Behold
With the choice of being afraid or the dare to be Bold
Could this be the way our  world is Designed?
Is this the path that we all must be Aligned?

This was never how It was meant to be
For we all in God's eyes were created to be equal and free
Free to show love, kindness, not with pretension but straight from the heart
But instead we've chosen to misunderstand religion just to tear us apart
In times like this, I can only hope and pray
hoping for the best with each new day
I Pray for peace, peace in our hearts and in our soul
I pray for Nigeria to be at ease and be free from the grip of terror 's control
I Pray for the Government and all the people in authority
Let's do what is right for us all to live in peace and unity
Though now we cry all day and weep all Night
Let our hearts be filled with joy when it's time for Sunlight

I Pray for the Nigerian people, yes the Nigerian people
With no reference to religion or ethnicity but Just cos we're equal
I pray that Christians and Muslims remember that we're first human beings
And learn to live together in peace like real people with feelings
I Pray for all people of the world to live a life of love
Let's learn to live together ,Let heaven smile from above
I pray that we love each other like ourselves
For that's when we can only live a true life of success
I pray for the victims of terror in Nigeria and the world over
May the souls of the departed find peace and let the living remain sober
I pray for an end to these senseless killings and bloodshed 
Let this path of evil end, let this monster be dead 
I pray for the Chibok girls abducted from where they dwell
going through difficult times that's even had to tell
I pray they return to their parents alive and well
let's remain hopeful, everything will be well

This Is my prayer, I PRAY FOR PEACE............
#BringBackOurGirls 
#NigeriansUnite

#THE PREACHER.......

I'm praying on purpose. You Know you want to join me...

#SAYAPRAYER

for Nigeria, Kenya, Africa as a whole and every other part of the world in need of God's intervention

Sincerely,
Cee

14for14: Common Sense Wahala

He says he is stubborn but I say I'm strong willed.

He says he likes me but I say I love me

He thinks I'm a fool to throw it all away but I know I'll be the fool if I stay

The thing is... 

Gone are the days when feelings and emotions were enough to go by.

The world has evolved and I'm learning to grow with it too!

For everywhere I go, I have to carry  these three; my 'Bestie', my brain and "common sense" along

or else

this heart of mine would just put me for wahala!

Guess what else is reiterating the importance of common sense to me? (*side eye* why did you just continue reading without attempting to guess :(! ) Well... its my new Loofah Scrub o!

I was shocked to read the side note at the back just after the instructions on how to use it.

"...As always, use common sense and be gentle with yourself and your body."

Funny right? but nevertheless profound. It really cracked me up. Made me remember primary school days where every reference to 'common sense' had an underlying insult or wise crack. 'Don't you have any common sense?' 'Where is your common sense? (usually followed by the statement 'Use your Initiative')' 'Stop hailing him, its just common sense applied' 'Common sense is obviously not common in your case' 

It appears the only time we are allowed to be 'stupid' and ignore common sense is when it comes to love however it may be temporal.

Anyways I have a question for you?

I soooo love 'em and have been getting a lot of late. Remember I mentioned my valentine one here.
*wide grin* Testimony time *dances forward*

I won a month free of premuim plus on Iroko Tv. I dunno how I got picked, just got a call. Ermm scrap that I think its in conjunction with Swift (the internet provider I use). Not sure if it was a random select or if they were just appreciating faithful customers. Anyways I think it's a great marketing gimmick on IrokoTv's part cos prior to winning this, I never would have thought about subscribing to watch new Nigerian movies online. The truth is that I'm not a Naija movie person except the really good ones cos I have a low tolerance for Iranu a.k.a Banality. But seeing as I cannot let my Awoof go to waste I watched Flower girl yesterday and I plan on seeing Anchor baby when next I'm idle. So fingers crossed on if I'll renew afterwards especially since it is relatively cheap (500 for a month, 1k for 3 months and 2k for a year).

Ciao Amigos!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV)

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. James 1:5 (ESV)

Sincerely,

Cee

To cut the long story... short

Lets divide it into 3 things

#1. Orange Boots!!

So after 20+ years of receiving the white man's formal education (that is minus the years spent in playgroup/preschool), I am now serving my nation! Now you know why I got darker. The sun at the orientation camp was something else. The experience was better than I had anticipated (had heard some really nasty stories o! A friend of mine kept begging me to buy black  nylons for "short putting"). Camp was alright. Still plenty room for improvement. Meet some really amazing people there that I plan on keeping in touch with. Dodged afternoon drills (for info on how to do same like a boss send me a private message *classified info* lol). Sampled a whole lot of crap food at the Maami market and came to the conclusion that every food isn't for this geh. No be by force! You guys already know that I didn't march or join the parade #notmystyle. I surprised myself and joined the drama group (I was behind the scenes though :)!) and represented my platoon in something. Reconnected with some childhood sweethearts (my primary school bestie was my bunk-mate). Anyways that's all on camp gist. Too many things happened. I'm to tired to type and I love you too much so I won't bore you with details.


#2. What do teachers wear nowadays?

So I have been posted to an All girls Junior High School not to far from where I live and I'm teaching Fine art. Pretty Amazing right? God really loves me and works everything out for my good *wide grin*.

Wondering why I am happy about it?
Well, its an ALL GIRLS school... so there will be no cheeky and mischievous boys in my classroom to make me shout. Don't get it wrong, I love boys n'all buh we all know that

 Adolescent male species = T.R.O.U.B.L.E!!

Secondly, Its junior high a.k.a easier work load and you already know how much I love Art (was my best subject back in school) so all round Yaay!!


FYI: I didn't 'work' or influence my posting to the school. Its a public school owned by the State Government so there will be no Ajebo kids bringing birthday cakes *sobs*. So back to my initial question... what do teachers wear nowadays? A friend was teasing me today that the kids will think I am one of them when I enter the class cos I look young. I'm not sure what that means sef? buh it's made me erase all thoughts of being "natural" and weaving my real hair though. lol! What I know is that I do not have  the time or patience for skirt suits which I remember my school teachers used to wear in those days :|


#3. my Blog beefers who camouflage as my friends!

U guys should mind yourselves o! That is how one of them sent me an IM after my last blog post to ask why I have suddenly become very racist and that there is nothing wrong in me becoming black or getting darker! Can you imagine??! When people that love me have been concerned and are offering unsolicited advice on how I should use natural carrot or is it papaya soap, exfoliating scrubs or infact bleaching cream to regain my colour. Although I doubt the bleaching cream advice person loves me sha *side eye*! She is a meanie buh I forgive her but as for those who want me darker God is watching you o!

Then someone said I should consider writing on food only for my 14 for 14 series as most of my posts are on food. *Yimu* They will be pretending as if they don't like food. #Na big lie. 

Lemme just catch the both of you sha!

Now thanks be to God, which always causes us to triumph in Christ, and makes manifest the aroma of his knowledge by us in every place.

2 Cor 2:14 (AKJV)

 Sincerely,

Cee

Lagos what did i MISS?

It's good to be back home. Missed Blogville especially my blog readers!

I have never really been a fan of tanning (I'm Nigerian so what did you expect??! lol) but I got one involuntarily :'(! I got back several shades darker. I didn't realize how bad it was until a few days ago, while having a conversation on different powder tones, someone said a friend of mine (who is 'black' in my opinion) was lighter than me! Yepa! You can imagine the shock on my face.  I've been consoling myself that my real colour will soon return. Una join me in praying oo!

Would have posted a selfie so you guys could do the judging... but I'm scared as in really scared to do that. I don't wanna be labelled someone with a mental disorder!  Read a funny article about it today... something about the American Psychiatric Association classifying selfies (or the need to take them) as mental disorder. Apparently it's a hoax (a.k.a Na Lie!) you could read Myne's article on it here.

I'll be back with proper gist/blog post soonest. Still catching up on all the things that happened in my absence. Thanks everyone for being patient with me, for checking up on me (I got some lovely emails) and to my dearest new followers. I really appreciate you guys **hugs&kisses**

"You are beautiful in every way, my true love. There is no blemish on you."

SOS 4:7 (GWT)

Sincerely,

Cee